The future was an empty place, just an open space

This summer, I found that providing for myself is exhausting. It was in part because I lived 10 weeks on my own and then had to travel back home by plane, so I didn't want anything wasted. So, I had to scrupulously plan out a budget and a meal plan for myself. But, as I am prone to do, I went overboard on the planning and got too involved in planning out my days in advance. And in a typical bout of psychological self-diagnosis, I decided that I had a problem. Either that, or I was just tired of it by the time I got home.

But now, I am really just trying to take days as they come. I think it would be healthy for me because when I plan out the day, I worry a lot more about it, needlessly.

It's also comforting to me because it makes me feel like a kid again. And oddly, being more free of worry makes me feel much more in control and not like things will fall apart. So, I feel older and younger at the same time. I'll have to see how this works out once I start getting busy with school, since that's really when my over-planning intensifies...but I'll see what happens. Right now, I'm not going to think too much about the future.