I'm gonna pack it up

I still have important things I have to get done before school starts on Wednesday. Nuts. And I'm having a really difficult time getting stuff done. So, in light of that, I will make a list of some of the things I did over break, both for inspiration and as a cheap ploy to tell everyone about my life for the past month. Not that it will take very long. Good Lord, I've done nothing.

1. Bought myself an iPod nano (in purple)
2. Read four, soon to be five books, one of which was a lot smuttier than I expected
3. Applied to four out of eight internships I'm looking at for the summer
4. Baked a lot of things, including a chocolate babka (am probably heavier now)
5. Sang for a couple things
6. Made a resume
7. Saw what just might be the worst movie I've ever seen*
8. Learned the dance steps to Thriller

I have yet to plan my independent study for next semester, and I have to finish this book that's taking my all of bizarre love triangle to finish. Wait, what? I just used the same made up idiom in a consecutive post. Who am I, Mrs. Noah**?

*Which brings me to this. Now, I'm not exactly unfamiliar with the world of bad movies. I enjoy a good MST3K and even suffer through movies without the entertaining commentary, like Sextette or Pom Poko. However, I don't think any of them have had the exact sting of the made-for-TV version of Noah's Ark, starring Jon Voight as Noah (and God) and some psycho as Noah's wife, the "second mother of all humanity." **As she might say, don't let the cat out of the bag before you skin it. Let that be a lesson to you all.

Hey little apple blossom, what seems to be the problem?

I haven't written in my journal for a long time (my hard cover journal, not this newfangled in-ter-net thing--although, looking at what I used to write in my journals, the question of which type of journal is more silly is highly debatable). But last night, I picked up my pen and started writing, and right there, four pages. And I write small.

I think the reason living like a hermit in the wilderness appeals to me so much is not only the solitude, but also the heightened activity level necessary for survival. I've always loved survival stories, and I think that's because in a survival situation, someone would need to be busy all the time, and every action would be vital.

Even when I was little, I always wanted to keep busy with a lot of things, and I wanted to do important things. Really, that's all I care about. Sometimes people compliment me because I can manage school and activities, but I always feel weird receiving that compliment. It's just how I am--I've never been able to live any differently.

Well, this entry is taking me all of Bizarre Love Triangle to finish, so I'm just gonna cut it off here.

And loses herself in her dreaming and sleep

So last night, I had one of my recurring performance dreams. This one was about Once Upon A Mattress, which must have had a big impact on me since that performance was two years ago. And somehow, Screamtown also showed up in that dream, and even my dream self shuddered at the thought of it.

But more interesting was my dream from two nights ago. First I was swimming with sharks in a deep-sea ravine, and then that ravine somehow turned into castle ruins, and I became Hamlet, but I could fly. Well, not so much fly as kick off from the ground and then hover. It wasn't a very controlled process and I recall being frustrated with the aimlessness of it all in the dream, particularly as it resulted in being captured by the nurse from Romeo and Juliet*. But somehow I escaped her and was able to get outside to a hedged in garden (not underwater anymore), where the dream proceeded to become a full-fledged Broadway musical with me as Hamlet, leaping along the hedge and singing the smash hit "I'm Back Where I Started From!" Scene change to me approaching the castle again, where I am captured once again. That's all I remember.

*Note: I only realized the continuity error of this when I woke up. At the time, I assumed she was part of the story. Plus, I was too busy planning my big Broadway debut.

Why am I writing about this? Well, the strange content of my dream as well as the need for something to do led me to look up dream interpretations, and almost everything pointed to this: negative/neglected emotions and a feeling of inactivity/lack of direction. So, I'm trying to remedy that through writing this. Also, I just looked at some things from last night's dream, and they pointed to a desire to be noticed.

Well. Here I am!