Take Two

I think I do those surveys when I'm too lazy to search for something deeper. Yes, they let me write down things that I may not have thought about, creating the illusion of finding hidden treasure as I said, but really I think it's fool's gold. What value are gems of human intellect such as: "You know what? I really like peppermint ice cream."

I'm somehow reminded of Ghost World: "You guys up for some reggae?!"

Lately, a place in my imagination has been haunting me. It's a wide, flat, blue valley surrounded a tall, uniform ridge of mountains, like a prairie-filled crater. This place is somewhere out west, and it's warm there, but the covering of blue from dusk makes everything seem cold and clear. In my mind, it is a place where memories dissolve. It does not resolve memories, but traps them as they are. The memory-saturated air is stifling and cruelly cold. This place could whisper about everything it holds, but instead it remains silent. It frightens me. Thinking about it makes me feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, able to balance thrill, fear, and curiosity for only a minute before I can stand no more and need to retreat to safer ground.

I didn't think about it before, but the song that makes me think of this place most is called "Perfect Disguise." Interesting.

Afternoon Sister - Air

The other day, I decided that my favorite ice cream flavor is peppermint, like the special holiday edition kind. Not only that, but that the only dessert I care about is ice cream (er, frozen yogurt). And for some reason, I really wanted that in writing. I'm not sure whether it's from the recent monotony of break or whether this was built up over the entire semester, but I'm in one of those states of mind where I seek out those awful surveys, perhaps to validate something about who I am. Sometimes I feel as if I need to reevaluate what I like and...stuff...just so I can be familiar with myself. Whenever I figure out something about myself, I feel like I'm unearthing some buried treasure, which is honestly more of an indication of how little I know myself than it is an indication of how I value my own identity.

So, without further ado, some hand-selected survey questions from various things I found. On facebook.

1. Favorite Album of the Year: Neutral Milk Hotel: In the Aeroplane over the Sea. This album combines energy and genuine feeling, which I've realized are two of the strongest indicators that I will like certain music. Plus, it has an overall theme, which I can't resist in albums. Runners Up: Moon and Antarctica (though I think I listened to that last year), Seven Swans

2. Favorite New Show of the Year: Freaks and Geeks. Not new, but new to me. I love everything about it. Runners Up: How I Met Your Mother, Firefly, Slings and Arrows.

3. Favorite New Movie: Hmm. Freaks, No Country for Old Men. Did I see The Thing for the first time in 2008? If so, that's it. Man, The Thing!

4. Favorite Book of the Year: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. I still laugh thinking about it and find new ideas. Also, I reread Steppenwolf.

5. Best Event of the Year: Israel, no question. Ghana as well.

Other questions:
Favorite candy: I don't eat much candy anymore since Israel. Juju bees, wallaby licorice, caramel. Things I can't eat easily with my new tooth. Also, this isn't candy, but my new favorite thing are those passionfruit popsicles I had in Israel.
Goals for the year: To be organized enough to balance school, reading, music, and work, get an internship this summer (hopefully that one...), plan a trip for myself to San Francisco
Job I most want: Explorer. That's why I'm drawn to astronomy.

I could have very well done these things not at the expense of my poor blog. However, I think the whole point is that I wanted these things in writing and this was the easiest way to do so.

I'm incapable of writing an entry that I feel like publishing once it's written. I don't know if it's that I'm dissatisfied with what I'm putting out here, or if it's that I'm rebelling against having a blog. Well, the point of this entry is finished. I want to write another entry right now on a new subject. Here goes.

Love is Blue - Paul Mauriat

I began to write a little bit about how I don't like being identified as a girl, and how that was kind of a secret of mine. Although, I don't think it's really a secret, but rather it's just something that I don't share because there is no occasion to do so. However, I was thinking, and I think the only secret, which reveals my entire life, is this:

"Whoever wants to live and enjoy his life today must not be like you and me. Whoever wants music instead of noise, joy instead of pleasure, soul instead of gold, creative work instead of business, passion instead of foolery, finds no home in this trivial world of ours...All we who ask too much and have a dimension too many could not contrive to live at all if there were not another air to breathe outside the air of this world, if there were not eternity at the back of time; and this is the kingdom of truth...It is the kingdom on the other side of time and appearances. It is there we belong. There is our home. It is that which our heart strives for...we have to stumble through so much dirt and humbug before we reach home. And we have no one to guide us. Our only guide is our homesickness."

I can't say much more than that.

I've been into the plants and simple treasures

So, tonight I was making Christmas candy and things, so I was eating a lot of sugar and as a result, I started to go a little haywire. You know, I've really been off of sugar a great deal since Israel. (GOSH I MISS ISRAEL!!!) Anyway, so I was having all of these strange thoughts, and then I was like, "You know, maybe I should start a blog!" And then, "Well, shit, I already have one."

And so much has happened since...(checks blog site)...August! Yes, August. Good Lord, August. Well, I've been love love loving organic chemistry. I was hit by a car and as of now finally have my tooth crowned (No more corn on the cob for you, missy! God, what is the matter with me). I was in Amadeus, and that's what the swears are about--I mean, I had to swear in the play, whereas I never had before, so my record is broken. Whatevs. I still don't swear, but that barrier doesn't exist anymore. I've fallen in love with Neutral Milk Hotel.

I miss Israel A LOT. I think about the Sea of Galilee and Hippos and Petra and even just lying around and doing nothing on the kibbutz, and I would give anything to be there. On the other hand, I'm looking at an internship next summer, which I will hopefully be able to do. If not, then I will just work during the summer and take my trip to SAN FRANCISCO! Unless I could manage another summer at Hippos...

I hate when I get to the end of these entries and don't want to publish any of it. This is so boring. But I need to get to my homework, which is actually more exciting than this blog post. But that's because the homework itself is very exciting. Perhaps next entry, I will have some gripping information and confessions. I'll see what I can come up with, and it will be my Christmas gift to my blog. Alright then, it's settled.